Meiji Jingu |
It's the final month of autumn and i started wearing warm sweaters and puffy coats trying not to think about depression a lot. Truth is, i am the kind of person who isn't tied to any particular season when it comes to feeling depressed. But now, it's just a problematic period which started two or three days ago. That day i realized that I don't want to go to this japanese school any longer which meant something went wrong. I feel better now, though. It's one of the common problems: you find yourself doing something you don't enjoy, and understand that it sucks. I just always thought, this problem applies more to office workers who have always wanted but never had enough faith in themselves and whose mum said "no" anyway. I will spend more time on this issue, just do not want to do it today.
Today was good.
As we were falling asleep somewhen near 4am, he started to breathe loudly on my neck and it tickled. Then he started to blink fast touching my ear with the eyelashes and it tickled even more. I started a fight.
Few hours later, i woke up because one of the side effects of the nootropics is insomnia. I wrote something dumb to someone from twitter and fell asleep again.
Few hours later, i woke up because the bed was all shaking. Misha woke up as well and went to the bathroom. It was still shaking. I was really sleepy, not able to understand much, but i liked the feeling. We fell asleep again.
Finally, I woke up at 10am and locked myself in the bathroom because it was cold as hell everywhere outside our bed. We can't leave the air conditioner on all night because it gets harder to breathe after the first 10 minutes of it working. I had a hot shower and put on a new puffy coat. I also put on some make up just to make my panda eyes look not so pand-y. Sometimes, i forgot i should wake Boyfriend up first which costs me washing my face twice in a raw.
I went to wash my face one more time, only that time i was too lazy to put on make up, so i did nothing with my face and returned to my computer.
"Boyfriend? I can write everything i want to on the internet, right?"
"Of course, why?"
"I don't know. So, there is nothing wrong with it, right? i just wondered, will it be ok if i write about how my grandfather shot himself in the head over a year ago?"
"I would have written. "
"Yeah, ok. I just needed somebody to calm me down with that."
All day long, I was very talkative laughing and making jokes a lot because one of the side effects of the nootropics is psychomotor agitation.
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